Ever Wonder

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here is some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

-On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

-On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

-On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how??)

-On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (but, it’s just a suggestion.)

-On Tescos Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down. (well duh, a bit late, huh!)

-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (and you thought????)

-On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)

-On Boots Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts!)

-On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (and I am taking this because???)

-On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to what?)

-On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

-On Sunsburys peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (talk about a news flash)

-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (step 3: maybe, uh fly Delta?)

-On a childs Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

-On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Source: via email

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7 Sins of IE 7.0 Beta 2 Preview

From first-hand experience:

1. MSN 7.5 stopped working
2. Pages take comparatively more time to load
3. Takes a bit longer to launch
4. Saves web pages as .mht by default and does not remember your preference
5. When saving pages as Web page complete, it saves them as HTML only!
6. Completely loaded pages cannot be some times saved, gives error message. This web page could not be saved.
5. Cannot organise favourites, or sort by name
7. Lacks the tab to edit page with your editor (eg FrontPage, Word)

Still not convinced, read: 7 reasons not to try IE 7.0 Beta.

Uninstall instructions here.

Brand new Intel, same old story

Intel today unveiled its new corporate logo having raised the famous e and has removed the tag line Intel Inside™ with a flashier Leap ahead™ with a linear Intel™.


Brand new Intel, same old story

The move comes after 37-years when the original Intel logo was designed in 1968 by founders Gordon Moore and Robert Noyce.

In 1991 Intel added the phrase Intel Inside™ which made it the 5th most valuable brand in the world.


Brand new Intel, same old story

The firm has seen radical shift in its direction ever seen since Paul Otellini took over the helm from veteran Craig Beret. First of it, a realization that Gigahertz no more matter, that faster isn’t better, something rival AMD had championed before.

Its billion dollar Itanium series was a flop. It adopted a new 3-digit processor numbering system and scrapped plans for the successor to Pentium 4 code named Tejas™, and finally added 64-bit extentions to its P4 line, when AMD already had a 2-years lead. It seemed that AMD had been pushing the right buttons while the giant slept.

The move is not only related to Intel processor line, which its core business but more of an overall marketing strategy to re-brand Intel as a company to be more than a semi-conductor giant. This marketing strategy was spearheaded by none other than CMO Eric Kim who had previously transformed Samsung into a global brand.

Intel have realized that their profits cannot only lay in their flagship Pentium series processors and have diversified into the living room products such as the upcoming Viiv platform.

Intel also released the much awaited Yonah™ dual core successor to Dothan™ (the 533FSB 2MB L2 Pentium M) officially named as Core Duo (having a 667FSB) and Core Solo (having a single core). Intel will certainly look at 2006 to Leap ahead™. Download the new Intel brand architecture logos from here.

Ed’s note: This note was written in the first week of Jan 2006.

Teacher lies!

In order of appearance:

Obia Barni: Out, out, out {door being closed}. Khawaja: Lekin miss Metro aaj phir der seh ahi heh.

Madam Valika: {No comments}, also known as ZABNani.

Syed Jafri: Isn’t it? Us zamane me USA ne Apollo launch kiya, Russia ne Sputnik launch kiya, lekin mene kuch ni kiya!

Farah Naz: Class pay attention. Look at the blackboard. Shoaib waha se utho, lekin miss me kuch nahi kara thaa. Class, to meh kya keri thi. Open exe 7.1, do question …

Hina Shakir: No, aaha. I think I am wrong some where. Let me check the text book. Right well I was saying …

Aslam Pervaiz Memon: You know I went to this conference in Islamabad with the deputy director and there were this big people there, and I gave my Presentation on. It was great; I will show it to you (scratching his head). Now I am working on this UML specification.

Ashar Lodhi: Meri naak koh dekho, class look at the tip of my nose {pointing his finger to his nose}, assume there is no light in the class, and there’s huge spotlight on my face, or sub jaga powder heh, lekin joh meri naak ki tip heh or jub light meri naak peh gire ghi. {lekin mamu aap ki naak ku kya huwa?}

Ali Samad: Kuch meh aap ko sikahu, kuch aap mujhe sike. At least zindagi me kuch ekh duso se sikh lenge. Suno dost jub tum practical life me aogeh.

Zeeshan Arshad: BCS kyu kiya? Sub ko H1 visa lug jay ga, sub America chale jayge, leaving me here (fall of the Pakistani programmer}. Minority report kisi ne deki heh?

Aslam Rana: Bache upto bare ho jao, sudar jao. Kis ko kira kaat raha hai?

Nouman Hashmi (Author): Love in C++, Object oriented love, Married pointers.

Asim Riaz: Nobody is a genius, no body is a cheetah. It is hardwork, hardwork. Yeh kon has raha heh. Ye baat kis ne kahi. Yeh bath to me akele kamre me bi nahi karta.

Aley Imran: When the contents of AL are moved into DL {grin coming on his face}, DS is loaded with an offset FFEEh {huge smile coming on his face}, and when the 386DX is addressed in indirect mode {oh, oh, I know that face, he just got his first lollipop}.

Mazar Jaamil: Aap meri jazbaat samaj rahe he? Yeh kon comedy kara he? Woh kali raat, woh kali pahar, usper woh kali chuti …

Nadeem Sidiqui: I was in California and they give me this beeper which I used to keep on my waist, right, right, yah. Well if the server crashes you are fired. I’ll be back {Terminator Paki version}. Nusrat: Sir, Sir, Sir …

Irma Farid: Miss Colgate 2003 Platinum Edition.

This email is purely fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 😉

My apologies but then not!

Some time between Jan 06 – 16 this year 99Celcius was done without clue; apparently the MySQL DB of 99Celcius was deleted!

My Host denies any wrong doings and pointed a finger to Hacktism….and neither did they have regular backups nor did I!

So it finally boiled down to some 6-months and significant amount of posts and pics that have been lost forever, hard work down the drain.

As any true blogger will tell yah, that blogging is a passion and one’s blog is a passionate affair.

For all you readers out there who visited 99Celcius would have understood the intimate relation I had with my blog.

So as painful as it is, I have come to accept the harsh reality of the past, and once again restart my affair with candid hope.

Lessons learnt:

– Never rely on your host
– Never blame your host (waste of time, words and resources)
– Always carry out your own backups