Mwazaro beach resort

Taken on October 20 at Mwazaro beach resort in south coast together with all my colleagues, left very early morning for a whole day exercise about 1.5 hours drive south from Mombasa.

This annual bank sponsored event lets the staff choose the location of the retreat. The aim of the exercise is to develop bonding and teamwork, as staff are divided regardless of age, gender or designation into teams and have to participate in various logical and physical games while having lots of fun.

Activities included puzzle solving, beach volleyball, beach soccer, lunch, swimming (optional), and a late afternoon walk to a local shrine.

Mwazaro beach resort

Mwazaro beach resort

Mwazaro beach resort

Mwazaro beach resort


Kenyans in Britain

A recent report by The Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR) produces the following facts:

· There are estimated 123,600 people who were born in Kenya who live and work in UK.
· The Kenyan expatriate community is the 13th largest in the country.
· The community is a mixture of Kenyan African, white Kenyans, Kenyan Asians and asylum seekers.
· It is one of the most productive of all immigrant communities to the UK.
· Kenyans in the UK earn on average £24,500 pa.
· Kenyans are the second biggest home owners of immigrants in UK behind Indians.
· 82% of the community owns a house.
· They are least likely to claim benefits from the social welfare system.
· 80% are employed, while 19% are self-employed.
· They earn on average £12.50 per hour.

Source: partly quoted from “Kenyans in Britain active in economy” by Paul Redfern, Daily Nation correspondent, London.

Men vs. Women

Friendship between women:
A woman did not come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between men:
A man did not come home on night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over at their place, and two claimed that he was still there!

Source: The Standard, under “Humour Quotes”.

World Economics

Traditional Economics
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

Indian Economics
You have two cows.
You worship them.
Oh and you fight with all your might to prevent the Pakistanis from getting anywhere near them!

Pakistan Economics
You don’t have any cows.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs, and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the developed world.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you and you start a long, bitter fight to reclaim “your property”……

American Economics
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You start a “shock and awe” campaign against that nation.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

French Economics
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

German Economics
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

British Economics
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

Italian Economics
You have two cows.
You don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.

Swiss Economics
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

Japanese Economics
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

Russian Economics
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Chinese Economics
You declare it the Year of the Red Cow.
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers…

Nigerian Economics
Me broda yo…..
You come up with a very lucrative deal to export cows.
You don’t actually have any cows but manage to somehow get a deposit from the farmer on the deal.
You hire a cow from somewhere and export it to the farmer, but not before it ingest some “high performance nutrient pellets”.
You sell the cow but only after you have passed the airport and somehow extracted the high nutrient pellets.
You deliver the cow which dies within days.
By then you have already moved 3 continents away and started the process all over again.
(Well done oh!)

Tanzanian Economics
You have two cows, you borrow two cows.
No one feeds them.
You hire expatriates to confirm starvation.
You hire South African expatriate veterinarians to feed the cows.
You deny the Kenyan veterinarians (who would cost much less than the South Africans) work permits.
You claim neo-colonialism!

Ugandan Economics
You get the guerrilla cow from the bush.
It starts off by being quite productive.
The guerrilla cow “styles up” and moves in to take control of the farm.
The guerrilla cow becomes savvy and outsmarts all other cows on the farm.
It arrests other cows for treason and rape.
The guerrilla cow then unofficially declares itself Leader of the National Farm Movement and changes the constitution to give itself an extra term in office.

Kenyan Economics
You have two cows.
You slaughter both of them. You organize a large nyama choma bash complete with a one man guitar.
Your bash irks the neighbours who cause a scene (Lucy Kibaki style) and generates scandal in the local papers for at least a week.
You blame the former President and his regime for any shortages or shortcomings.
You start a Commission of Inquiry to look into the matter, then vow to have radical surgery to address the plight of those lost cows.
You hire Kroll and Associates to recover those lost (or dead cows) from the stomachs of those who ate them.
You ignore their findings and constitute a Committee of Eminent Persons to look at the issue afresh.
You ask donor partners to give another two cows …………to eat!

Source: via email